The Program We're Working Through With Our Boys
Posted on August 11th, 2013
- The program is 3 levels, with level one being first and toughest. It is one or both parents with the child at all times. And the child is never more than 3 feet away from you. It involves a strict schedule (eat every two hours, emotional/cognitive activities, physical activities, house work, bonding activities, and goals for each child).
- Everything has to be visual and verbal. Hence, there are huge posterboards and a white board taking over one wall of our house, with goals, mantras, the schedule, unacceptable behaviors, and unhealthy/healthy words to say.
- There are no electronics (and I do mean none). We don’t do anything besides answer phone calls until after the boys go to bed (which is why you won’t see a blog post before 9pm).
- The program is parents only. The boys cannot play with friends and really cannot interact with other adults. Thus we’ve said “see you later" to everyone we know for a time. It’s like we’re in Europe for the month (except not really; not at all).
- If the child will not participate in an activity, then you have them sit in “time in" with you. This is the opposite of the more well known “time out." Time outs are terrible for traumatized kids because it isolates them. Time in keeps them contained, safe, and in proximity to people.
- The suggested time frame for level one is 45-60 days. We are seeing what we can accomplish in 30. We’ll see.